I am a Bible thumpin' Christian. I love the Bible. I love to study it and love how the Old and New Testaments parallel each other and how the Old Testament talks about Jesus, down to his birth and death. I love the times when I'm dealing with something and God will direct me to somewhere specific in the Word and my question is answered. Those are the best times. I've had some wonderful moments studying the Word over the last 10-12 years and spiritually, have seen myself grow up, although I'm not "there" yet. We'll never be "there" until it's all said and done.
People like Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, Neil Anderson and my own personal spiritual mentor, Debbie Williams, have been used in my life to light a fire to desire to know God and what His will is for me.
Being I'm a born-again, Bible believing Christian does not make me a perfect person. I have my own besetting sins that I fight daily. One of those is my own unbelief. I believe every word God says to us in the Bible is true, but my heart has trouble with some of the ones that talk about me.
A verse I have taped to my computer screen says "For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139 13-14
Why is it that I have such a problem believing I am really and truly fearfully and wonderfully made? All these years, since I was a little bitty girl, I've fought feelings of inferiority. I've always compared myself to everybody else and although I've gotten better as the years have gone by, I'm like a stubborn kid and argue with God when He says I'm wonderfully made, it's like I'm saying "Am not!" and He's saying "Are too!" It's an insane argument.
I've got it taped there on the computer screen, prayerfully hoping that I can believe that this week.
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1 comment:
You are super cool, man. :) I struggle with my own self-esteem, myself. It probably doesn't seem like it, since I'm always lauding my own praise on my blog and everywhere else, but yeah. I so totally understand where you're coming from on this post. :)
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