Da Bachelor

I'm glad Travis picked Sarah.

I think MOAN-a summed up why ol Trav' didn't pick her....nice guys like that don't marry girls like her.

I wondered the whole time what this "connection" they both kept claiming was. Moanin' Moana is a lovely girl. She is no Sista Smiff, but, then who is??? I think the connection was a connection in the literal sense. If'n ya know what I mean. :wink wink:

A Streptococcus Among Us?

After last week's nightmare visit to TENNESSEE URGENT CARE (remember, do not go there) I finally got the Princess into a REAL doctor's office. Our new doctor is out Hendersonville Hospital so Friday afternoon the Princess and I went to the new place.

Friday night, the Middle School had a dance and it started at 6 and our appt. was at 4:45 so there was some panic on the Princesses part of whether she'd make it right at 6. (God forbid she be two minutes late) So she was dolled up, all ready for the dance when I took her for her appt. We musta looked ridiculous going in with her and her makeup (don't get me started on that) and she had used the hair crimper. Of course, she felt just dandy and I'm wondering if the Nurse Practitioner lady even believed she had been feeling bad and hackin' up a lung all week.

I had a hoot of a good time filling out the new patient paperwork and asking the Princess if she had had blood in her stools? Anal itching..things of that nature. Sometimes I amuse myself so.

Now #2 Son has what I suspect is Strep. I can't even remember how I figured out he might be sickly and what made me decide to feel his glands. Funny, how moms just know when their kids are sick. His throat feels like he has golf balls in it. No fever and he's happy as a lark, as usual. He had strep twice in the fall.

The sickest I have ever been was 5 years ago when I had strep. I'd never had it before and my gosh....who could think a throat could hurt that bad??? I remember when my doctor asked if I wanted a pain killer, I wanted to kiss him. It felt like somebody had struck a match and was just holding it inside my throat. It weren't fun.

Darren McGavin-RIP

Geez....a bad weekend for losing legends and memorable characters.

Darren McGavin worked steadily in Hollywood for over 50 years but I guess he'll be forever carved into everybody's memories as the Dad in "A Christmas Story," fighting the !@#$%&* furnace, the Bumpusses dogs and the Leg Lamp...."Frajeeeelay."

Don Knotts RIP

Just signed on to the computer and saw that everybody's favorite deputy and everybody's favorite landlord, Don Knotts aka Barney Fife/Ralph Furley has died. Yes, he was 81 years old and had lived a long and frutiful life, but somehow, the world without Don Knotts is kinda hard to imagine.

I grew to love the Andy Griffith Show through Mr. Smiff. I'd watched it since I was a kid but he turned me on to the show, the brilliance of the writing and characters and since we've been married, nigh coming on 17 years, it's been part of just about the only routine, organized happening at our house, to watch Andy before we go to sleep.

I came to appreciate that Don Knotts was more than just Barney Fife through my love of classic television and seeing old Steve Allen shows. I love the "Man on the Street" and the little nervous guy character he did. He was brilliant.

I actually got to see Don Knotts, not too long ago in the summer of 2004. The Mayberry Crew was appearing at one of their festivals and they were at the Grand Ole Opry. Mr. Smiff was still playing with Mike Snider and they were playing that night and it just so happened some relatives of mine were in from California and Hawaii and they wanted to see the Opry. I didn't even know Don Knotts was going to be there until I got there.

Mr. Smiff was on an earlier spot and really wanted to see Don Knotts up close. He rarely gets excited or starstruck about celebrities he runs into, in fact, the only time I've ever heard him comment about being impressed with famous people he's seen at the Opry all the years he played out there just about every week (beginning in 1979) was Nolan Ryan and Andy Griffith.

He was told the Mayberry Gang would be there for the second show, so Mr. Smiff went ahead and left for a bite to eat. Because a couple of them were in somewhat frail shape (Howard Morris aka Ernest T. Bass was there and in obvious bad health) they only did the one spot. Mr. Smiff got back and found out the Mayberry Bunch was already gone, he was devastated. He did see Doug Dillard but he's been a friend and compadre for many years so, nothing against Doug, but....

Me and the Princess got to see Don Knotts, though. She was so excited when she realized that Don Knotts was Mr. Furley. I told her to take it in because someday she would be able to tell her children she saw Don Knotts in person.

A Prayer Request

BusyMom's post today about mishead words made me think of something pretty amusing.

My dad was quite funny. Somtimes he meant to be and other times he didn't mean to be funny. One time at Wednesday night prayer meeting at church during Prayer Request Time, he meant to be serious when he requested prayer for a medical test he was going to be having. What he MEANT to say was that he was going to be having his uvula biopsied. Instead, he asked the Prayer Warriors who had gathered, to pray for him, as he was going to be having his vulva biopsied.

Yes, he did.

After the service, Jesse Frank (who is in Heaven now and probably still not over this one) took Dad aside and mentioned to him that he did not posess a vulva because he was a male.

Another funny public prayer request was made by my cousin in lawwhen she was a little girl, asked a similar Wednesday night prayer meeting crowd, to pray for her Aunt Hazel because her bra strap was getting so tight.

God has got to have a sense of humor.

A Look Inside the Modern Kitchen

I guess my attempt to emulate my culinary hero is all shot to hell now.

I love to cook. This does not mean I prepare a seven course meal on a nightly basis, but I enjoy playing in the kitchen and have been known to fix some pretty fabulous meals.

Last night, I was pretending to be Rachael, chopping up my little onions on my nifty Pampered Chef cutting board, about to wow my kids with one of their favorite things I make. Chopping and chopping all perky like Ms. Ray I go. I had also put some peas on the back burner of the stove. (I hate peas, my kids love them. I don't get this but that's another blog for another day) Cut the peas on and I'm chopping on the cutting board, which I had strategically placed on my smooth top stove. (Another great invention)

I began to wonder why the butter was not melting in the peas. I had cut the burner on? At that very second, I started to smell plastic and smoke began to rise (nice aroma). #1 Son had walked in right before and was there to witness the whole thing. He was giving me that look that 14 year old boys are so good at and I turned to him and said "Watch me Son. Watch me and learn."

The Cheeseburger Pie turned out fabulously in spite of the cutting board snafu. I put a little Worcesteshire in mine to give it a little more flava.

This Is Love

I had to go to the dentist yesterday to get my teeth cleaned. I've gotten to where I dread the dentist because they tend to want to drill my teeth and then me pay them for that. I think it should be the other way around. I got way more than my teeth scraped and cleaned yesterday though.

I got to the office a few minutes before my appointment. There was a sign on the front desk telling me they were at lunch and would be back at 1:30 so, sit down and wait.
I found me a People magazine and was reading the latest about Brad and Angelina's "love" when the door opens and a man and woman, who appeared to be in their mid to late 60's, came in. It was obvious that the lady was not well. The man was behind her and had his arms around her waist guiding her through the door, helping her to walk. I'm not a medical person but I would guess the lady probably suffers from Alzheimers or has had a serious stroke at some point. She was dressed rather nice in a velour-type sweatsuit and even had earrings on. After he got her up the stairs and through the door, which was quite an ordeal, the man sat the woman down and he sat in the chair next to her. Once he got situated, he sat back and looked at her, smiled and tenderly put his hand on her cheek. He was talking to her and she just looked at him, not able to really talk to him but it seemed she was hanging on every word.

I have no idea who this couple is but I tell you what, they reminded me of what love and marriage are really about.

Watching The Bachelor the other night, Travis, in trying to make his decision about which bimbo to bring home to Mama, said something like "It's all about my feelings at this point." Poor guy. If he builds who he's going to spend the rest of his life with based on feelings, it's not going to be a strong union. Your feelings change from moment to moment. Love is a choice.

It's day after day, year after year, sickness, health and taking your wife to the dentist to get her broken tooth fixed, probably caused by a fall and being her voice because she can longer speak for herself and treating her, even in her frail state, as though she were the Queen. It was precious.

Urgent Care is a Bad Thing

Don't and I repeat DON'T go to the Walk In Clinic that's near Rivergate by Home Depot...Tennessee Urgent Care, I believe it's called.

I take the Princess there yesterday evening because she's been coughing and hacking and just plain not feeling good for a few days. I did not want to, but since our longtime family doctor up and retired on us we had no choice. (It would've taken 3 or 4 days just to get a call back from the new one).

We arrive at 5:10. There's a pretty good roomfull of folks (actually, everybody and their redneck cousin was there). We fill out the paperwork, pay the $50 copay (say WHAT?) and wait.

They have a sign on the wall that says something about "Don't be alarmed if somebody hasn't been here as long as you have is called before you." They called a few people before us and because I'm a good girl and follow directions, I was not alarmed.

They kept calling all these other people back and there we sat. Finally, after an hour and a half, I ask the girl (who we had been sitting right in front of after all this time) how much longer and she says "What's the name?" I tell her and the nurse says "There's no chart here." I was determined not to pitch a fit and make a scene. The thing that got me was the lack of apology I got. It didn't matter I had sat there that long and the receptionist had messed up and put our chart in the wrong place. I collected my $50 and we left.

I learned a couple things in the process...one, I need to grow a set of testicles and two, Tennessee Urgent Care....don't go there unless you're behind on your people watching.

Is There Such A Thing As Too Good?

When I heard Martina McBride was releasing a cd of classic country songs, nobody was happier than I. Martina is an incredible vocalist and I think has wasted her time doing those crappy, sappy, pop-schlop numbers she's been so fond of in recent years. (If I hear one more song about a daughter, I will shoot myself)

I'm all about old country music. The crap that comes out of Music Row today is so lame. (ex. Badonkadonk and Ms. SugarPits Girl) Stand any of the garbage Music Row produces today up against a Hank, Sr. song, or Hank Snow or Buck Owens, etc. they would kick their ass.

So I get this cd and look at the titles, which happen to be some of my absolute most favorite songs ever written: "Today I Started Loving You Again," "Help Me Make It Through The Night," "Once A Day," "You Aint Woman Enough," and a bunch of others. I am pumped. She even had Marty aka "Dandalion" Stuart write the liner notes....Dolly and Dwight both throw a little harmony in there. The stage is set for brilliance. So why am I left thinking "Ok, it's going to get really good in a minute?"

The tracks are great, her voice is great...but she sings so perfectly that it's like she went off and left her soul home that day. Her version of "You Aint Woman Enough" sounds exactly like what it is: a white, middle class girl from the Midwest, singing a Loretta Lynn song. Hear me, I'm not trying to compare Martina's recordings to the originals......no way. I'm all for different interpretations of art and love to hear different takes on stuff. (Unlike moldy, old figs who are anti anything done in the last 40 years).

It's so stinkin' flawless and perfect. Maybe I have an inner, subconscious thing against Martina because everything about her is so seemingly perfect?? Yeah, that's it. She's got the husband (ok I have one of those too) the three little cherub kids (I got them too) this amazing voice and pencil thin figure (I have a "decent" voice at best and the only thing pencily about me is, well, nothing.)

Maybe that's why my favorite singer types are the ones that aren't so perfect....like Skeeter Davis, for example. How she made a long, succesful career as a solo artist is a miracle but she was one of the best. She made ground-breaking records that crossed over the oceans and the charts. She didn't make the best choices in men (She married Ralph Emery, for the love) she got kicked off the Opry once for badmouthing the Nashville Police Dept. for arresting Jesus Freaks. She was this hip, unique, Buddy the Elf type of person who I miss.

Like Larry the Cable Guy said, "Martina McBride can sing but she aint no Skeeter Davis."

Go Kinky

I wish I lived in Texas so I could vote for the Kinkster.

Anybody who could write a song like "They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore" or "Get Your Bisquits in the Oven and Your Buns In the Bed" and who is for gay marriage because they "deserve to be miserable like the rest of us", deserves to be the head honcho of the Lonestar State.

If you want to see something funny, watch the reality series they're doing on CMT on Kinky's campaign. The guy is so funny but he's also very smart and practical. I hope he wins.

February 19, 1992

Lots of stuff has happened since February 19, 1992. It's odd to think it's been 14 years since I saw my dad. At the same time, I see him everyday, especially in my two boys. One looks exactly like him and the other acts exactly like him. Sometimes, I see him when I look in the mirror.

At church today, they sang an old hymn, "Send The Light" and on the part where the bass part echoes, I heard my dad. One of my favorite things is when we sing one of those old hymns and I can swear I hear his baritone/bass (whatever he was in the mood for).

I inherited lots of things from, namely his fair skin, his twisted, sometimes off the wall sense of humor, his Attention Deficit, his eyes, the tendency to analyze everybody and everything and other things. I think the thing I'm most grateful I inherited, or learned from him, is the importance of placing my faith in God and the importance of committing each and every day to Him.

He was a dandy.

No Bidness Like Show Bidness

The Grascals are trying to get to Boston for a rather large festival today. They rode back from a show in Asheville last night, straight to the airport and their adventure for this trip is beginning to sound a little like "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."

At BNA, the plane had to be stopped and started a few times to reboot the computers (that's comforting) and for de-icing. They missed their connection in DC. Had to go through security twice and now will have to go through New York then to Providence then to rent cars.

Stories like this remind me why I never pursued music as a career. It's so glamorous.

The Ghost of Ted Baxter Spotted In Nashville

Ted Baxter is alive and well and living in Nashville. I know cause I saw him at the hair salong this evening. "Ted" is a tall, somewhat handsome feller and he still really, really likes himself. He was well dressed, perfectly coiffed and on the prowl.

Ted was waiting his turn and was sitting next to an attractive young woman, who was decked in foils. He struck up a conversation with her and was working the old Baxter charm. I heard enough of the conversation to hear him ask about her line of work. The exchange went something like this:

God's Gift To Humanity: "What DOES an accountant do?"

Attractive Young Lady: "There are different types of accountants."

Ted Baxter/Ron Burgundy: " So, you keep track of people's money?"

At that moment, Ted/Ron was called back for his appointment, I'm sure, much to the relief of the attractive, intelligent young lady.

Further humoring me, Anchorman was on his way back from the shampoo sink when he stopped in my mirror to take a quick peek. Thought for a minute he was going to give himself the ol' Pistol Shoot at himself.

Reckon he plays Jazz Flute?

Carlene Carter

I haven't seen this in the news anywhere, but happened upon it on another website. Carlene Carter has gotten married again.

Her amazing country music pedigree aside (mom June Carter Cash and dad is the still hot and charming Carl Smith) Carlene Carter is one of my favorite singer/songwriter types. Highly underrated as a songwriter, she has written some brilliant songs through the years. "Easy From Now On" (a #1 hit for Emmylou back in the 70's) has one of the best and most poetic lines I've ever heard in a song...."I'll be flying high in a fandangled sky"...

Carlene's had her fair share of ups and downs in recent years. She has buried her mother, stepfather, sister, longtime boyfriend and step mother, all in the span of less than two years. She's fought the law and the law won, but, she's clean and sober and I saw her brilliantly portray her mother this past summer in the play "Wildwood Flowers." Good for her.

Good, Good Ivy

Ivy's not so bad. She showed me how to do this. I still haven't figured out how to add links to my favorite blogs yet but I'm a'working on it. Thank you, Ivy.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm....

Random, ADD thoughts this morning....

Driving into work this morning, I saw something on the interstate I don't believe I've ever seen. I saw a squirrel cross I-65 right before you get to the Briley Pkwy/Dickerson Rd. exit. Even nuttier (pardon the pun) the little sucker made it across!!!

Mr. Smiff had to be downtown for something pertaining to the Country Radio Seminar this morning. He left his cell phone in the van, thus, I had two cell phones on my person. I had no idea that Mr. Smiff was so attached to his cell phone. He even came by my work to get it. I think it's something of a security blanket for him. Why then, can he not figure out how to record a message for his voicemail?

I know, or am aquainted with two people who have made it to the 44 finalists on "American Idol"....Mandisa Hundley used to work where I work and Darren Word is a friend of my nephew's. Darren is adorable and I hope he wins.

I consumed an entire box of Girl Scout cookies yesterday (Tagalongs) by myself. I'm now working on that second box (All Abouts). I think I'll be skipping weigh in for Weight Watchers today.

Why can't somebody in my household, other than myself, see that the trashcan is full and needs to be emptied? I'm wondering if they are conducting an experiment to see if the trash will walk itself outside?

Love For Sale

Valentines, schmalentines....

My dad used to leave my mom notes by the coffeepot on any regular day of the year. He bought her these romantic cards and would write in them how she was the love of his life, etc. I thought when I got married, my husband would do the same thing. HA! WRONG!

Mr. Smiff is romantically retarded and he is the first to admit this. He didn't have good role models in this area though so for that, I've learned to cut him some slack.

My father in law got my mother in law a bread tray for Christmas one year. Needless to say, my in laws have been divorced for about 38 years. One Christmas, he got his current wife a stepladder for Christmas. A stepladder.

Smitty's lack of talent in the romantic area used to be bothersome to me. It hit me last night when I was at Wal Mart and seeing lots of husbands clamoring for a card and trying to grab the last piddly bouquet consisting of 2 or 3 flowers with a $20 price tag that it was all pretty stupid.

I'd much rather get some sort of surprise outing, dinner, gift than a last minute, panicked, guilted gift just because the calendar says its February 14. Not that I ever WILL get that surprise but it's a nice thought though eh?

FLYLady Will Be Disappointed

My sink is not smiling at me this morning.

www.flylady.net says that to begin to get organized and stuff, you have to shine your sink every night before you go to bed and you'll wake up and your sink will be smiling and so will you. I didn't shine my sink. It has a broiler pan in it, some dishes...it ain't smiling.

I Love the 70's

I have been basking in the glow of 70's music Heaven all morning thanks to Satellite Radio. I've heard songs this morning that I have not thought of in twenty years or more, but yet, know every single word to:

Shadow Dancing-Andy Gibb-I don't care what anybody says, the Brothers Gibb are the absolute most underrated singers and songwriters around. Too bad everybody associates them with Saturday Night Fever cause they were much more than that. Ok so Andy was the sound alike kid brother...I LOVE them. Barry's gonna be my neighbor in the summer. Can't wait to run into him in the Wal Marts.

Billy, Don't Be A Hero-who in the crap sang this horrendous song?!?!?!?

Hot Stuff-Donna Summer-now hot stuffin' for Jesus.

Car Wash-Rose Royce -Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap-clap-clap BEEP!

Keep It Comin' Love -KC and the Sunshine Band-I prefer that there booty number he does.

Boogie Oogie Oogie-A Taste of Honey-Til you just cant' boogie no mo'.

I love the nightlife...I got to boogie...on the disco round....-Somebody explain to me what and where the Disco Round is???

The day would be complete if they would play "Run, Joey Run" or "Convoy."

Battle of the Sockses

There are approximately 1,453 socks in my house. They are not matched and most are dirty. I have found them in just about every nook and cranny of the house today. After complaints all week of "Mom, there are no socks!" I decided to gather as many socks as I could find and throw them all in the washer at the same time. The real fun will be after they come out of the dryer and attempting to match them. I'm seriously considering chuckin' them all and buying everybody in the house 7 pairs of socks.

I can't convey what a blessing it is to be able to spend my Saturday playing with socks. This is what I dreamt of all those times I visualized the white picket fence.

More Evidence of God's Residence

I don't see no heavy snow yet. Where in the crap is it? I even did a snowdance outside the Tiger Market, er, excuse me, the "On The Go" market or whatever theyr'e calling it this week. I ran in to make a purchase, came back out and stopped on the sidewalk and broke it down a little bit. Princess Daughter began to scream and holler, ordering me to stop it. I'm sorry, but I was feeling the city breakin' and everybody shakin' up a staying alive. When the mood hits me, there is no stopping me.

Everybody and their cousin was at Krogers. Sheesh. The thing I noticed in most people's baskets and then again at the Tiger/On The Go place was beer. Forget the bread and milk. If they're going to be snowed in, they're going to be drunk and snowed in.

On the news, I can't remember if it was Channel 2 or 4, a reporter was in Krogers in Williamson County. He reported that one of the big sellers was cat litter. He said "Here in Williamson County, people buy cat litter to use in their trunks, on their sidewalks..." As if those of us in Sumner County aren't worthy of using something cats normally take a dump in to give us low lifes outside of Williamson County traction, in one form or another, during this massive blizzard we're expecting.

February 10, 1969-Long Beach, CA
My aunt (with the hip, happenin' hairdo) my sister, who at 2 1/2 had no idea how her life was going to change this day, my mom and I'm in there somewhere...on their way to the hospital.

You Say It's Your Birthday....

Remember when birthdays were fun? When we used to look forward and anticipate our big day? You had Christmas and your birthday and it was a big deal. It's my birthday today and I don't think anybody up here on my new floor knows...or cares.

On my 9th birthday, I had a slumber party. All these little girls in the house and it was cool. I can remember most of the names of the girls: Terri Leigh Beazley, Melanie Dukes (now a middle school teacher in God's Land-Williamson County) Stacy Jones, Melissa Dukes, Shannon Hurt, Samantha Morgan (gosh, wonder where those two girls are now? Anybody?) Even Darrin Kirby graced us with his presence. We stayed up til 4 a.m and watched "Carrie" on the late night movie and an Elvis movie "A Change of Habit". Elvis said the word "damn" in this movie and I was shocked he would cuss. This was a few months after he died when we were all in denial that he would even smoke or take any sort of drug.

My dad arranged for Cousin Mickey, who was something of an A/V wizard, who brought video tape equipment and videoed the event. This was ultra cool because it was 1978, before most people had personal video cameras and VCR's. Only many years later do I look back at that and wonder why in the world a grown man had all this video equipment??? And why did my parents let him in the house with a bunch of little girls?? Add to that, Cousin Mickey was a permanent resident at the Mental Hospital out on Murfreesboro Rd. Hello? The same parents who wouldn't let us watch "James at 15" or "Three's Company" allowed this? Their logic amuses me now. Of course, at the time, I didn't know all this about Cousin Mickey. He was really harmless and I never noticed anything different about him. Poor guy met an unfortunate end off the bluff of the Cumberland River.

I start talking about it being my birthday and I end up talking about Elvis and cursing and mentally ill relatives. Isn't rambling from one topic to another a sign of aging?

Mr. Smiff is out of town and Jeff Ray seems pretty confident we'll get snow so I guess our celebrating will be limited to an evening with "Ed, Edd and Eddy."

As my hero Matt Foley would say.... whoop tee freakin doo.

The Blog That Wasn't

Earlier today, I had written what I thought to be my weirdest, funniest and best blog yet, however, I got under conviction when I remembered somebody might read my blog regularly and it might hurt her feelin's because she has no sense of humor about such things.

Oh well...ya'll will just have to trust me. It was a good ern.

Grammy Observations-SugarPits

Ya know....yay for Sugarland's success. Jennifer Nettles is a lovely lady with a decent voice. Their little ditties are sweet and all but I'm getting sick of her showing her armpits.

Sly Stone's hair is THE BOMB. Kanye West could learn a thing or two about cool from him.

Steven Tyler can still rock.

I got to hear Kelly Clarkson's acceptance speech over the phone.

And the Winner Is.............

Mr. Smiff just called from the Coast (listen at me) and Del and the Boys won the coveted Grammy. A little disappointed but if our guys couldn't win, then Del and them's the next best one. Del's been nominated many times but this is his first win. He is extremely deserving. Del, Ronnie, Robbie and Jason are longtime friends and co-horts of ours and we'll be happy for them in a minute.....

Guess I oughta dismantle that mantle I was building....

Grammies, Schmammies

I'm really trying not to be nervous today about this whole Grammy thing. Mr. Smiff and the guys have as good a shot as any of them as far as winning goes. They've had a great year....have great visibility and respect of music industry people (who does all the voting). It's slightly nervewracking.

They went to some pre-Grammy party last night. I asked if he saw anybody famous. The only person he mentioned was Jeff Hanna (nominated for Song of the Year for "Bless The Broken Road") Love Jeff, but we've seen him twice since Saturday!!!

People have asked why I did not go to LA for this most auspicious occasion...several reasons...

1. Three kids in school. I would've had to find three different places for them to stay. (Nobody in their right mind would keep them all at once!)

2. Mr. Smiff and the guys have to fly out tonight about midnight in order to make a show in Palatka, FL tomorrow.

3. The Grammy Show starts at 1:30 in the afternoon. My ADD wouldn't handle that well. For some reason, I'm not on the edge of my seat for Best New Age Spoken Word Liner Notes.

4. I probably would not have even gotten to sit with Mr. Smiff and I would not have been able to fly out there with him.

5. I am originally from Southern California and have a number of family members there. I have not seen them in 20 years. There would not have been time to visit and the thought of being there and not being able to see them....Grammy or not, that would've bothered me.

I do hope The Grascals can get their picture made with 50Cent or somebody like that. What a photo op.

A D In Band?!?!?!?

#1 Son is a smart boy. He's one of those irritating kids that makes A's and B's without ever cracking a book. Everyday, I ask him if he has homework. Everyday, I get the same answer from this mop headed, 6'1 inch kid...."No."

Back before Christmas, I insisted that he allow me to quiz him in preparation for his Science exam. He hemhawed and greatly protested saying he didn't need me to, etc. He was not going to rob me of a June Cleaver moment, by golly. He produces about 5 pages, front and back full of Science questions, with words like "protozoa" and other foot lawng words that I could not pronounce, much less have a clue what they mean.

We go through the entire mess of papers and he knew the answer to every single question, except for one. He aced the Science exam and got a 99 on it. That's my boy. It's like this in every subject for him. Every subject, that is, except Band.

When I was in school, Band was the ONLY subject I could count on getting an A in. It was and probably still is like that for most all American kids, except mine.

#1 Son plays the saxophone. I dreamt of the day he would come home and delight me with songs like "Yakety Sax" and "Night Train". This kid has musical talent running all through his veins. Both sides of his family have or have had professional musicians. His father is in Los Angeles this very moment preparing for the Grammy Awards tomorrow, for the love of Johnny Cash, in which he and his band are nominated. He can harmonize and even sing bass. He has natural rythym and a natural ear.

Progress reports came home today (not to be confused with the Report card at the end of the 9 weeks) and he has A's and high B's in everything.....except Band. In Band, he has a D. A D!!!!! We have this discussion all the time....How in the world does one make a D in Band???? He goes through the same thing everytime, he hates Band, he hates playing Sax and wants to switch to drums but the band director won't let him. (I don't agree with that one bit).

This band director is different than most. She insists they practice regularly and have us parents sign a card saying they have practiced. Apparently, it works because her middle school band is better than any I've ever heard. My fear is that in a few years when he's applying for colleges that the one he really wants to get into well raise an eyebrow over that D in Band in Middle School. He will be pissed off and probably try to find some way to hang it on me.

I sound like the Charlie Brown schoolteacher to him. You don't think about stuff like this during pregnancy. "What To Expect When You're Expecting" didn't cover this in any of that book.

Super Bowl Sunday

The Gumbo is done so the Super Bowl can commence.

I don't really give a rip about football and whoever wins is who I'm for. I was not blessed with a long attention span, therefore, football is something of a mystery to me. I know who lots of the players are because Mr. Smiff is quite the football fan. If the Titans were in it, yes, I would be into it a little more and probably more caught up in the excitement.

I do associate football and Super Bowl watching a little with my dad. He took some enjoyment in watching it so I can't help but think about many Sunday afternoons and him parked in front of the tv. He didn't have a specific team he pulled for, he just dug watching it. He would've gotten a kick out of Nashville having an NFL team, I'm sure. Wish he were around today to share in the day and watch the game with his grandsons and son in law.

The REAL winners of today's game will be my family and various in laws who have the good fortune to partake in my most excellent Gumbo. It sho do smell good.

Lance & Sheryl

Reckon ol Lance is wondering if Sheryl Crow was worth leaving his wife and children for about now?

Adultery is so great! It's just so cool to break the family up, especially when small children are involved and get them all nice and confused and attached to a new person.

People don't like that the Bible warns against adultery, but it's not there just to keep us from having a good time for the heck of it. The consequences are pretty large and avoiding it can keep us from suffering worse later.

Louise Scruggs

It's a bit ironic to me that Coretta Scott King and Louise Scruggs both passed away within the same week. I think these two ladies had some things in common.

Both were huge forces behind their very influential and legendary husbands. Both were shrewd and highly intelligent and accomplished women and would have been succesful in some form or fashion had they not ever had the occasions to meet Martin and Earl.

Mrs. King has spent the last 38 years keeping the memory of her late husband burning and raised 4 children in the process, alone. All the while, she kept a steely type of dignity about her. I'm sure Mrs. King probably laughed, but I never saw it.

Louise possessed a similar type of dignity about her. Often, people have misunderstood her and thought she was cold or aloof. True, to get to Earl, you had to go through Louise. She fiercely protected the whole image and public persona of her legendary husband.

One time, we were at a picking party at the Scruggs house. I took my video camera for my own personal use. A few days later, Louise called to make sure we weren't going to sell it. Never in a million years would I have ever considered something like that, but it goes to show where her mind was and what she was about.

Over-protectiveness aside, Louise was one of the warmest, most generous and hospitable people I've come across.

Louise Scruggs spent the last 58 years seeing to it that the world would know who her husband, Earl Scruggs is. At a time when women were not very influential on Music Row and the ones who worked there were mostly receptionists and bookeepers, Louise Scruggs was managing, promoting and booking Flatt & Scruggs. Louise did all of that while largely raising she and Earl's three sons, Gary, Randy and Steve alone. I say "alone" because Earl was gone most of the time.

I know, for a fact, that Louise Scruggs laughed because I saw her do it many times and it was one of the funniest things and one of the strongest memories I will carry of her. When Louise laughed, she didn't just go out with and laugh, funny ha ha. When she got really tickled, she would bounce up and down and not make a sound.

I certainly hope that the CMA will consider putting Louise Scruggs in the Hall of Fame. She certainly belongs there.

UPDATE:

We attended Louise's funeral service earlier this week. It was a lovely service at the Ryman Auditorium (where in 1946 a 19 year old Louise, sitting on the front row during an Opry performance, spotted the cute banjo player in Bill Monroe's band). Dwight Yoakam sang "In The Garden" with more heart and soul than I've ever heard it done in my life; Travis Tritt, Marty Stuart, The Whites all rendered their songs beautifully; Eddie Stubbs presided and showed clips of a rare, solo interview with Louise; Vince Gill did his usual funeral number "Go Rest High (I've heard him do that song at no less than 5 funerals in the past couple years. He's so good to do that for people) but this time, he barely made it through, relating how he identified with Louise where this song was concerned. He told of how he saw his mother bury a son and Louise and Earl did the same thing in 1992 following their youngest son Steve's suicide. Pretty heavy.

Billy Bob Thornton caused uproarious laughter remembering a time when he caught Louise off guard doing his famous character, Karl Childers, from his masterpiece of a movie, "Slingblade." I laughed so hard, I had to excuse myself to the ladies room.

If a funeral can be great, this one was. A great time of tears, laughter, celebration and remembrance of a fantastic lady that I feel blessed to have known.