Scenes From A Carwash

Me and Boy #2 enjoyed ourselves immensely at the 4:05 showing of Cars at the Regal Indian Lake. That movie IS as great as everybody says. Everything about it, from the amazing animation, the voices, characters, the music...it almost makes me want to figure out who everybody in NASCAR is, throw my tank top on, grab me a beer and get to the races myself. Almost.

#2 was unusually still and engaged in the whole thing. Normally, I have to tell him to sit down and hush about 100 times during a movie, but, not this one. He only got up to go to the bathroom twice and he didn't even go either time. He was so into the whole thing, he couldn't make himself walk all the way to the bathroom. When it was over, he was doing the "Need To Pee Dance" is how I know he didn't go...that and the fact he'd have been gone 10 minutes had he actually gone. He'd have gotten distracted by the video games and whatnot.

The whole Paul Newman character/voice/connection to the car racing thing moved me. I don't know why. Maybe it's cause I'm such a sucker for the old geezer. He's old, but, still hawt. Never mind Mista Newman was not actually seen.

I loved how they had actual racing people in this movie...Earnhardt, Jr., Richard Petty, Mario Andretti (sound like I know who/what I'm talking about, don't I?) and Darrell Waltrip as commentator "Darrell Cartrip." Heh. Love that.

Oh, you know there's a story coming about a brush with Waltrip, don'tchya? You're so smart.

About 1987-88...my hotrod, the 1983 Cutlass needed a bath, so I take it down to that car wash in Brentwood next to the skating rink. It was a slow day and I was the only customer at the moment. I'm standing there, mesmerized by the brushless wash, watching my lovely automobile make its way down the thing..I don't know what they call that. In my periphial vision, these two men are coming from the right. I wasn't paying any attention, didn't look who it was, but, I could tell the one man was coming closer and closer. He gets right up to me and says..."What are we looking at?" Dang, if it wasn't Darrell Cartrip hisself.

Now, I didn't give a rats ass about racing, but, I knew enough to be impressed that I'm standing there in the carwash, me and Darrell. Even at my youthful age, I was so mature and sophisticated beyond my years. I was going to get really deep and philosophical with this award winning driver person guy.

Sista Smiff: What can I do about my top? It's cracking and I don't know what to do about it.

Darrell Cartrip: You need to get you some Armor All and put on it.

Sista Smiff: Thank you, Mr. Cartrip.

That, my friends, was my introduction to the wonderful world of Armor All. It was so touching, not a time goes by that I don't use it that I don't remember that watershed moment at the Brentwood Car Wash. I still can't figure out why in the world Mr. Cartrip even talked to me. I guess he was hoping I'd tell him how he was my biggest fan. (I love it when overwhelmed fans of any type meet the objects of their affection and nervously tell them "You're my greatest fan" instead of "I'm your biggest fan!")

I know that was heavy. Y'all can go collect yourselves now.