Open House # 15

I've done a bajillion Open Houses at the beginning of school years. I counted about 15 of them, counting all three children. I'm a little jaded by the whole procedure, I suppose. I know the drill and could probably conduct the thing myself.

Tonight was Open House in #2's third grade class. The teacher this year, come to find out, is a first year teacher. Besides that, she has just moved to Middle Tennesse from way up in Iowa, just got married in June and she seems slightly overwhelmed with the whole thing. My first inclination is to say "Egads...a first year teacher." Then, common sense takes over. I'm sure she will be fine once she gets her Zoloft prescription filled and settles into the routine.

I don't want to sound like those moms that every class has a couple of every single year....those semi-OCD type Moms who keep having something to say throughout the whole 30 minute orientation. The ones who are so freakin' anal and worried about meaningless things like, say, "I only want my child to use THIS kind of pencil sharpener. The one you have is not acceptable." This particular scenario did not occur, but, this one mom shot her hand up for EVERY-THING.

This mom is a Super Businesswoman kinda mom and is degreed out the ying yang. We know because she told us so. She had something to say about this and that and "They didn't do it like this when we lived in Florida. It was much better down there." (Sista Smiff was doing all she could to not holler "WHOOP TEE FREAKIN DOO" during these many interruptions.) She also shared with us that she and her husband aren't available to ever come have lunch with their child because they are quite important and have a lot of meetings at lunch. I'm not sure which kind of mother annoys me more, the Muffia type or the uber-business-head-up-their-ass mother.

Then, there was another mom who obviously did not have any sort of childcare for the evening (husband either working or like that idiot husband on "Wife Swap" last night who would not watch the kids if his life depended on it.) She had about a three year old little boy who was SOOOOO LOUD. His mouth never stopped the entire time and Dumb Ass Mom didn't even make an attempt to hush him up. The poor teacher was nervous enough as it was and there was Stillwell Angel, screaming and crying. Everytime the teacher tried to say something, she was interrupted by a scream or a yell or a "Mommy look what I did!" Then, Dumb Ass Mom's cell phone rang and it was a call for her third grader, who was also with her. Surely she will not give the phone to the child you say. Oh no. SHE GAVE THE PHONE TO THE LITTLE GIRL in the middle of the teacher trying to tell us her procedures and stuff. It was a joy.

This may come as a shock to some, but, I didn't volunteer to be Room Mother.