Take It On Faith, Take It To The Heart

I didn't tell y'all that the day after my job was eliminated, my sister (who I have yet to give a good nickname to) was told she would no longer be able to have her job any longer either. In our family, we like to do everything together, including get dumped.

She lost a job last year after Thanksgiving after being with this particular employer for many years. She then went to work for another company and it wasn't her cup of tea. She got on with this company she just got let go of, after that.

The difference in her situation is she will have the opportunity to be a Stay At Home mom now. I think it's good because she has a 4 year old daughter who will trot off to kindergarten next year and this will give them some nice time together.

I was a Stay At Home Mom for 5 years when the first two Smiff Kids were little. At the time, I could not have managed going to work and with what I'd have been paid, all my compensation would've gone to daycare for the two chilluns. I still believed what my mother said then that I couldn't handle two small children and a job. I probably could've. I was so stinkin' young then (early 20's) . I'm glad I was able to be a SAHM then. Especially now that those kids are teenagers.

I've been at the same place ever since before #2 was born. I've worked different positions during his life, including a couple of part time gigs. Because moms tend to blame themselves for things their kids go through, I have often wondered if #2 would not have had his issue with ADHD if I could've stayed home with him like I did the older two. I know that's crazy, but, one can't help but wonder if he'd be better socially had I been able to be there everyday, all day with him.

If I had the choice, I would probably be home at least part of the time. I don't try to be a SuperMom with my full time work schedule, plus three kids, plus Mr. Smiff traveling and gone so damn much. My house is not what you'd call clean and organized, in fact, it's a bloomin' wreck.

If I could stay home, I'd have a nice, clean Casa and there'd be a bountfiul meal on the table at the same time each evening, representing the Food Pyramid. If I could stay home, I could actually have time with Mr. Smiff. We are usually like passing ships, with him coming in from work as I'm going out. That's not an easy thing.

On the other hand, if I stayed home, I would also probably never see other people, as I have that tendency towards introvertedness. I don't do hanging around at the school and I'm not the Social Butterfly my sister is. I became a virtual recluse when I was a SAHM before. That's not healthy or good for me either.

Also, if I stayed home, the Smiffs would have no health insurance. Musicians, especially self employed ones, don't get health insurance from their work. I no longer find watching shows like A Baby Story enjoyable and inspiring. I do like me some Regis and Dr. Phil though.

My melancholiness will pass...my temporary feeling of "Holy crap! I'm losing my job!" will subside...I know something's going to come up and it will be better, etc.

What did Tom Petty say so eloquently...The Waiting is hardest part.